I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
