But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
