Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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