Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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