That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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