I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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