I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just had sex on a roof
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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