Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
