I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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