how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
