awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
