Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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