"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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