xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
