Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
