it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
