Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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