She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
