I wish you could order shots online.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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