im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
