If i come over, it means nothing
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
