It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
no, he came in my armpit
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
