I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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