Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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