I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
