All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
