Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
