I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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