Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
