Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
