Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
no, he came in my armpit
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
