I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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