I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
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They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
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The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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