Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
