5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The air taste purple.
Randomize