i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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