i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
