Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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