Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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