I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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