Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..

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  (203): i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list.. http://tfl.nu/3i91
  Replies (11) Good night (4572) Bad night (679)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.

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  (781): So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger. (603): Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat. http://tfl.nu/6067
  Replies (19) Good night (6790) Bad night (1203)
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  (916): View more from California

  It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.

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  (916): It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable. http://tfl.nu/6byi
  Replies (7) Good night (3428) Bad night (1525)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.

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  (225): I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one. http://tfl.nu/gflz
  Replies (11) Good night (4977) Bad night (1173)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.

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  (440): He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/6rv7
  Replies (13) Good night (4180) Bad night (859)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me

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  (814): i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me http://tfl.nu/y6ou
  Replies (16) Good night (3984) Bad night (1177)
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  (310): View more from California

  Can we just ponder our lives for a second.

  (818): View more from California

  No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.

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  (310): Can we just ponder our lives for a second. (818): No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles. http://tfl.nu/vtnc
  Replies (8) Good night (2210) Bad night (908)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.

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  (248): I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night. http://tfl.nu/xi8c
  Replies (6) Good night (1355) Bad night (551)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.

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  (713): Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away. http://tfl.nu/vae8
  Replies (5) Good night (1762) Bad night (546)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them

  (256): View more from Alabama

  FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT

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  (256): I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship. (1-256): I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them (256): FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT http://tfl.nu/i1rw
  Replies (6) Good night (1663) Bad night (953)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts

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  (+61): As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts http://tfl.nu/kck3
  Replies (9) Good night (2083) Bad night (504)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.

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  (312): Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown. http://tfl.nu/cr3i
  Replies (1) Good night (863) Bad night (449)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Especially drunk mermaids.

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  (208): That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck. (208): Especially drunk mermaids. http://tfl.nu/soai
  Replies (8) Good night (1257) Bad night (413)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?

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  (740): my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady? http://tfl.nu/kyxc
  Replies (6) Good night (927) Bad night (414)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.

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  (702): I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs. http://tfl.nu/2t39
  Replies (6) Good night (733) Bad night (390)

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