i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
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Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.