DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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