wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
