There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
