So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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