Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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