I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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