I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
