I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Small penises have feelings too.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
