one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
