talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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