2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
