Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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