true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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