he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
