dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
