Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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