I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
