Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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