Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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