k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
