soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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